Gate Watch
by AngieWhite
Summary: Guarding the gates of Konoha is a boring job, unless you know how to entertain yourself. Izumo and Kotetsu thought they were the Masters of Meddling, until they tried their tricks on Kakashi and Iruka... Sequel to Guard Duty. Pairings: KakaIru, IzuKO
1. Chapter 1

It was morning in Konoha. The sun had not yet dried all the dew off the grass, but most of the village's inhabitants were already up and about and had been so for an hour or so. Even though late night activity of various kinds was not unusual for shinobi, sleeping in was a rare luxury. And in the morning, like any other time of the day, the gates need to be guarded.

This particular day, however, the mere look of the two gate keepers would have been enough to make any outsider turn around and leave, fearing that if they entered the village, they might die of boredom.

Kotetsu was slumped over the desk, looking half dead with his eyes almost closed and head rested against his arms, while his partner sat, chin in hand, fingers tapping against the wooden surface.

"That's it!" Izumo suddenly exclaimed. "We can't go on like this, we have to do something."

"There's nothing we can do. We have to stay at this stupid gate…"

"We can practise our meddling skills."

"But there's nothing to meddle in!" Kotetsu whined.

"Will you stop being so negative!" Izumo punched him on the shoulder. "Everyone has some juicy secret. Now, come on, the next person to go through the gates will be our victim."

Kotetsu sighed and lifted his head from his arms.

"Fine."

They had not waited long when a man entered the gates, nodding curtly at them.

"Good morning boys."

"Good morning Ibiki-sama."

Izumo and Kotetsu silently watched the broad, coat-clad back disappearing among the houses.

"The next person, right?"

"Right."

At the same moment there was a great rumble and two green flashes shot past.

"Lee, if you beat me to the training grounds I'll d five hundred push-ups on one hand!"

"And if you beat me, Gai-sensei, I'll do a thousand!"

"I don't think I want to meddle in that," said Kotetsu as the maniac laughter died away in the distance.

"Argh! It's hopeless!" Izumo cried. "We're doomed to perish!"

"I'll get Mizu no Kuni's."

Kotetsu took the few steps over to the little cupboard in the corner of the both, retrieving an innocent-looking, sake-filled water bottle from it's cool depths. But as he turned back again, Izumo was gone.

In stead there stood a pretty girl, with long, brown hair falling into her big eyes. Except for some smoke covering the essential parts, she was naked.

Kotetsu gave a terrified shriek and dropped the bottle.

"Who are you?! What did you do to Izumo?!"

The girl blinked in surprise, then there was a soft 'poof' and she turned into Izumo.

"It is me, idiot."

"Man, what the hell is wrong with you?!"

"I just thought I'd try. It's a pretty useful-"

"Well, don't ever do it again!"

"Jeeze, I'm sorry." Izumo looked curiously at his friend. "You know, that's not supposed to be a scary jutsu."

"You look even worse as a chick," Kotetsu snapped, not quite meeting his eyes. "Anyone would get scared."

"Like you could do it better…" mumbled Izumo, sounding slightly hurt.

"Look at that," said Kotetsu in a voice that clearly suggested a change of subject.

He was pointing at a small group people walking towards the gates, with Naruto marching first, looking absolutely thunderous and Kakashi keeping an unusually respectful three steps behind his students.

"What's up, Kakashi-sensei?" Kotetsu asked as the Copy-nin passed them.

Glancing at Naruto, who kept walking determinately, Kakashi stopped at the booth. Sasuke and Sakura slowed their pace, shooting a furtive look at their teacher before following Naruto.

"Your students don't seem too happy with you," Izumo said, deciding to leave Kotetsu and the Sexy no Jutsu in favour of this new, interesting subject.

Kakashi shrugged.

"Some things happened this morning and now Naruto hates me."

"What things?"

"Well, hm, how do I put this …" Kakashi hesitated for a while before settling on "Naruto walked in on me and Iruka having sex."

Izumo raised his eyebrows.

"Ah, yes. I can see how that must have traumatised him."

"Yeah, imagine seeing your teachers doing it…"

"…old Jigoro and Miyamoto…"

"… on the desk in the poison classroom…"

"Ew, stop it, you're giving me images! Hey, Kakashi-san, wait!"

Kakashi stopped, already halfway through the gates.

"We can help you," offered Kotetsu.

"I think not."

"But we know a few good tricks."

"Knowing your previous record I'd say your 'tricks' are probably the one thing that can make this worse."

"Hey, that's not fair!" called Izumo, but Kakashi had already gone. "Damn! Why does he always have to win?"

"Well, at least we've got something to meddle in now."

"Yeah, we do. And we'll show him."


	2. Chapter 2

Five days had passed and Izumo and Kotetsu had not yet had any chance of helping Kakashi to get back in Naruto's favour. The main reason to this, they suspected, was Kakashi's own reluctance to accept their help. Every day he lead his team quickly through the gate, eliminating all openings for conversation with its keepers and on the rare occasions Izumo and Kotetsu had some time off, both the Copy-nin and Naruto seemed impossible to find. Previous experience made them reluctant to take drastic measures against said Copy-nin, but just as they thought they had no other choice, a new possibility came before them.

"Izumo!"

Izumo's arm went down just in time to protect his ribs from Kotetsu's sharp elbow.

"What?"

"Look who's here."

Following Kotetsu's gaze a pleased smile spread across Izumo's face.

"Sweet."

"Kakashi and his team will be back any minute. If we can get him to stay until then it could get real interesting."

"If we're lucky we might even be able to pull a Nunchaku Noob."

"Just what I was thinking," Kotetsu grinned. "Oi, Iruka-kun!"

Iruka stopped on his way from the grocery store, shoulders sagging in a way that indicated he'd rather have passed unnoticed by the two guards. Reluctantly he walked up to them, giving them a rather irritated look.

"What?"

"In a bad mood are we?" said Kotetsu cheerfully.

"Been spotted by more students, perhaps?"

"So you've heard."

"Of course we have."

"And now we just want to revel in your misery for a while."

"Naturally," said Iruka in a resigned voice.

"We still haven't forgiven you for the closet trick, you know."

"That was your own fault. When I figured you didn't know… I just couldn't miss that chance."

Izumo sighed and shook his head.

"And here we were thinking you'd matured a bit since our academy days, but oh no…"

"You're still the same little prankster of a brat."

"No respect towards your sempai."

Iruka snorted.

"Anyway," Kotetsu continued, "just for the record, what exactly were you and Kakashi doing when Naruto walked in on you?"

"And _you're_ telling _me_ that_ I _haven't matured?"

Kotetsu was just about to answer when Team 7 entered through the gates, stopping dead as they caught sight of Iruka.

"Well, what a coincidence," said Izumo, earning himself five deadly glares.

The gate keepers grinned, watching amused as Kakashi looked around him discreetly as if searching for an escape route, while Iruka stared firmly at the ground, searching for something to say. Naruto's eyes darted between the two men, his mind clearly working hard. Apparently unable to come up with any genius plan, he clenched his fists and retorted to his standard solution: scream and charge.

"Iruka-sensei, let's go have ramen!"

He grabbed the teacher by the arm and before anyone could protest, dragged him of towards Ichraku's Ramen Bar. Kakashi sighed.

"You two can leave as well," he said to Sakura and Sasuke. "See you the same time tomorrow."

Looking relieved, the two Genin mumbled a quick "Bye Kakashi-sensei," and hurried away.

"What's up with that?" demanded Kotetsu. "I thought Naruto hated you two."

"Nah, just me. He thinks he needs to protect Iruka, won't let me go near him."

"Why?"

"He seems to be under the impression that I'm just using Iruka for my own perverted purposes."

"Well…are you? Ouch!" Kotetsu winced as Izumo stood on his foot.

"Shut up, idiot, you'll get yourself killed!" he hissed, smiling apologetically at Kakashi.

But the Jounin just sighed again, looking rather depressed.

"I never get another chance to, with Naruto hanging around all the time."

Kotetsu grinned and gave Izumo an 'I-told-you-he-was-a-pervert' look.

"I could go and try, though," said Kakashi thoughtfully. "Seeya."

"Well, that simplifies things a lot," said Izumo as Kakashi strolled off towards the ramen bar. "If Naruto's only angry with Kakashi, all we have to do is to prove to him how much Kakashi loves Iruka."

"So that's a Tamaki Special or a Confessing Clone?"

"I think the Confessing Clone would be safest here."

Kotetsu nodded.

"And I think we both know who of us is best suited for that task."


	3. Chapter 3

The calm morning was abruptly disturbed by a loud scream and the noise of four people sprinting towards the guard booth at the main gates. In the lead was the infamous Copy-nin Hatake Kakashi, looking nothing short of terrified. Close at his heels came twelve year old Uzumaki Naruto, a Kyuubi-ish glare in his otherwise blue eyes and after him came Haruno Sakura and Uchiha Sasuke, both keeping a safe distance from their furious team mate.

"Naruto, idiot!" yelled Sakura. "That's not-"

But the rest of her words were cut of by Kakashi screaming:

"Help, he's going to kill me!" and tossing himself over the desk and into the guard booth, pulling Kotetsu in front of him as a shield.

"I'll show you, you pervert!" Naruto bellowed, attempting to get into the booth as well, but finding himself being tossed several feet away by a well-aimed blocking jutsu from Kotetsu. "Son of a-!"

"Naruto, wait, please, listen to me!" Kakashi pleaded. "Just let me explain…"

Panting from the hunt and unable to get any closer Naruto stopped and glared at his sensei.

"You see," the Copy-nin continued, peering at the boy over the top of Kotetsu's shoulder, "what I was really trying to say was that, um, I… I love Iruka-sensei very much and… I would never hurt him…"

Naruto squinted his eyes suspiciously.

"Really?" he said sceptically.

"Really," insured Kakashi.

"Well...in that case…"

"What's this supposed to mean?"

If Kakashi had looked terrified before, that was nothing to how he looked now. Outside the booth, looking as cool and collected as ever, but with an increasing aura of pissed off around him, stood- Kakashi.

Naruto's face was a picture of bewilderment as the Kakashi inside the booth seemed to shrink in fear and clutched Kotetsu's shoulders tightly and the Kakashi outside took one ominous step closer.

"W-we were just trying to e-explain things to Naruto-kun…you know…help…" the booth-Kakashi's voice trailed away and with a soft 'poof', he turned into Izumo.

The real Copy-nin stared at the guards just long enough for them to start vividly picturing the various, bloody ways in which he might kill them. Then he said, still without taking his eyes of them;

"Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura. The training grounds. Now." He reached into his pocket and, to the terror of the two Chuunin, pulled out a small, black scroll. "I'll be there in a moment."

Sasuke and Sakura quickly turned to leave, but Naruto remained, a fierce battle apparently raging in his brain.

"Sensei?"

Kakashi took a deep breath, trying to summon the last of his patience.

"Yes?"

"Do… do you really mean what that other Kakashi-sensei said?"

"Er…"

Izumo and Kotetsu nodded eagerly as Kakashi glanced at them and, for reasons unknown to mankind, he decided to trust them.

"Yes. I do."

"Then I guess it's okay. You can be with Iruka-sensei, if he wants you to."

"Oh." The Jounin looked puzzled. "Er…thanks."

Naruto nodded graciously.

"Now let's go training."

"Right…"

Kakashi shook his head lightly, trying to grasp what had just happened.

"I guess I owe you one," he said to the gate keepers, before following his team towards the training grounds.

"It worked," said Izumo, amazed.

"Yeah."

"We did it."

"Yeah. You can let go of me now, though."

"Sorry." Izumo rather reluctantly released his grip of his friend's shoulders.

"Didn't think you'd be that frightened by a little kid," sneered Kotetsu.

"He's not just any little kid! Didn't you see his eyes? And that Uchiha-kid is scary too, I had the feeling he knew all along what I was up to."

"You were obviously not that discreet. What did you say at first to make Naruto so angry?"

"I just tried to explain to him that I, or Kakashi that is, was not actually hurting Iruka, in that sense, and even if he was screaming, it wasn't because he was in pain…"

"And a twelve year old did not understand that?" said Kotetsu ironically.

"Not quite. By the way," Izumo suddenly sounded worried, "Kakashi didn't mean it literally when he said he owes us one, did he?"


	4. Chapter 4

Kakashi had been determined to be on time for training today. Or, at least not be more than half an hour late. It wasn't that he was looking forward to it, quite the opposite in fact, but because he didn't want to upset Naruto more than necessary. Because even if the boy had given him and Iruka his blessing, he was still suspicious towards Kakashi and spend a little more time than usual hanging around Iruka, scowling at the Copy-nin if he came too close. His team mates were also acting a little stranger than usual, giving their sensei occasional glances that made him wonder what Izumo had actually told them.

Feeling it was safest not to dig too deep in that, Kakashi had settled for trying to win their favour by butter them up. He had actually considered taking them all to Ichiraku's, but decided that that would be overdoing it a little. So he tried to be on time, and it had worked rather well the last few days. Today, however, the sight that met him as he drew nearer the guard booth by the gates was so unusual that he just had to stop.

Kotetsu was sitting there, an extremely grumpy look on his face and busy digging a hole in the wooden desk with his kunai. He was _alone_. Puzzled at this strange phenomenon Kakashi walked up to the Chuunin.

"Yo. Where's your wife?"

"What wife?" said Kotetsu, giving him a dark look before turning his concentration back to the hole in the desk.

"That guy you hang out with all the time…Izumo? He's not out pretending to be me again, is he?"

The gate keeper shook his head.

"Mission."

"Without you? I thought you two were joined by the hip."

"Tsunade-sama caught us going through her sake stash," Kotetsu raised his hand with the kunai, "and then she thought it'd be good for us to spend some time apart." He brought it down fiercely, sending pieces of wood flying.

"I see." Kakashi looked closely at the Chuunin. "You must miss him."

"Hmpf. It's quite nice to get rid of his whining," said Kotetsu in a not so convincing voice. "I can manage without him. It's not like we're a couple or anything, like you and Iruka…"

"I guess not," said Kakashi thoughtfully. "Well, I'm late for training. Seeya." And he left the lonely gate keeper to continue his vandalising of the village property.

--

Dusk was falling over Konoha, spreading its greyness over the houses and people, but by no means marking the end of the day. At first glance, the village might seem deserted, but of course, that was not the case. Because what time is better than dusk, when it comes to doing what shinobi do best, namely hide in shadows?

Two people who were _not_ bothering to stick to the shadows on their way through the village were Kakashi and Iruka. They were walking quite openly towards the main gate and the guard booth, where its keeper greeted them with dull surprise.

"You've seemed a bit down lately, so we thought we'd try and cheer you up," said Iruka as an answer to his questioning look.

"We brought sake!" Kakashi smiled and waved a rather large bottle.

"I shouldn't be drinking while I'm on duty," protested Kotetsu half-heartedly as he watched Kakashi pour the clear liquid into three glasses.

"I'll just give you half a glass then."

Kotetsu looked at his small drink.

"I'll just thin it down a bit," he mumbled and took out the battered plastic bottle labelled _Mizu no Kuni's Finest Mineral Water_, filling up the rest of the glass.

Iruka and Kakashi exchanged an amused look, but said nothing.

"So, how're things going with Naruto?" Kotetsu asked after draining his first cup.

"Pretty good," said Kakashi, filling it again. "He's getting over it. Still calls me Yaoi-sensei, though."

Kotetsu sniggered.

"At least it's better that Ero-sennin."

"So, what have you been up to lately?"

Kakashi and Iruka kept the conversation going, talking about nothing and everything and Kotetsu, who'd been quite grumpy at first, became more and more cheerful as the sake bottle became emptier and emptier.

"Speaking of Motoko-chan," said Iruka as he and Kotetsu were reminiscing about their days at the academy, "She asked me about Izumo the other day, wondered when he'd be back from his mission. Didn't they use to go out together?"

"Only a short while."

"I think she still likes him."

"They should get together again, then," said Kakashi, refilling Kotetsu's glass, "it's about time he got himself a girlfriend."

Kotetsu made an irritated noise and took a gulp of sake.

"It's strange that he doesn't have one, actually," said Iruka thoughtfully. "I mean, he's good looking, kind, fun…" he looked curiously at the gate keeper, who seemed to get more and more annoyed with every word.

"A great guy when he's minding his own business." Kakashi agreed, also observing the development. "He would be quite the catch, actually."

"I know why he doesn't have a girlfriend," Kotetsu declared suddenly, slurring the words a bit. "He's a bad kisser."

"Is he?"

"Yeah, too much tongue… wait a minute!" the gate guard stood up, finally catching on to smug expression on Kakashi and Iruka's faces. "I know what this is!" He looked from the sake bottle to the couple beside it. "This is a Drinker's Decoy!"

"A what?"

"You're meddling!" He pointed accusingly at them.

"In what?" asked Kakashi innocently.

Kotetsu let his arm drop.

"Nothing. There's nothing to meddle in… nothing at all…wasting your time, that's what you're doing…'s only when we're drunk anyway…not that-" his angry mutterings were interrupted by a familiar chakra appearing on the other side of the wall.

Kakashi and Iruka had sensed it too and with a quick look at each other they left the booth, hiding themselves in a tree not far from the one in which the two gate guards had been lurking some weeks ago.

"Hey, wait!" Kotetsu made to stop them, but lost his balance and fell right into the arms of Izumo, who'd just entered through the gates.

"Kotetsu?" he said surprised. "Are you all right?"

"I would be if it weren't those two dickheads," Kotetsu muttered, freeing himself from Izumo's grip.

"Who?"

"Kakashi and Iruka…think they're so fucking smart… I'll show them…that Kakashi thinks he's so fucking cool 'cause he's a fucking Jounin…and Iruka thinks he's so fucking cool 'cause he's fucking a Jounin…"

Izumo looked amused at his best friend, keeping one arm around his waist to prevent him from falling over again.

"What did they do?"

"They pulled a fucking Drinker's Decoy on me!"

"A Drinker's…why did they do that?"

"'Cause they're stupid, fucking dickheads, that's why!"

Izumo looked around them, seeming slightly nervous.

"If they pulled a DD they should still be around here somewhere…"

"Izumo?"

"Yes?"

"Did you miss me while you were gone?"

"D-did I what?" stuttered Izumo, the darkness almost concealing his blush. "Ko, how drunk are you?"

"'bout two bottles…"

Then, without warning, Kotetsu leaned, or rather fell, into Izumo's arms again and kissed him rather violently. Surprised, Izumo answered the kiss, wrapping his other arm around Kotetsu's waist as well. After quite a while they broke apart, gasping for air.

"Izumo?"

"Yes…"

"You're not drunk, are you?"

"…no…"

There was a silence during which Kotetsu appeared to be thinking hard.

"That's good," he stated at last and resumed the kissing with renewed vigour.

"Well, look at that," said Kakashi as he and Iruka watched the couple from their place in the tree. "We didn't even have to lock them up." Grinning, he raised his voice and called: "Hey, Izumo, go easy on the tongue!"

"Kakashi, shut up!" Iruka hissed, clapping one hand over his lover's mouth. "Don't disturb them."

But the two guards didn't seem to have heard. Iruka sighed.

"It looks like you and I'll be guarding the gates tonight."


End file.
